get thee to the waterfront
It’s a beautiful day out — what the crap are you doing at home reading this website? Granted, it’s the greatest thing on the Internet, but still! Get your ass down to the waterfront to New Belgium Brewery’s 2006 Tour De Fat!
Seriously, there’s beer and bikes, do you need more incentive? If you get there in the next 30 seconds you can catch the start of the Bike Limbo contest. You can still get in on the Dance Contest at 4:45. And March Fourth is playing at 5:30.
What are you still doing here? Get going! This website will still be here when you get home. Shift your ass, you lazy bastard!
Excuse me now, please, it’s time for my nap.
