tcon recap 08
Oh, North Bowl. You had no idea, did you? No idea at all what was about to happen when we walked up your stairs with arms full of swag to survey TequilaCon’s latest home. No idea when the tweet went out to put the world on notice that aught-eight’s event had begun.
Lisa was the first to arrive, and I got a chance to sit down and talk with a woman who radiated such courage and gratitude in equal parts that she gave me hope for the future, and I think all my tomorrows will be a little brighter for having had the chance to meet her. She and Dude helped us to defend our claimed couches, and it wasn’t too long before the next blogger came up the stairs. I was probably a little intimidated, but black belts are so good at their art that she was able to disarm me using only her dazzling smile and engaging wit. (Mr BBM deserves a lot of credit, too, for being such a good sport, because the Internets can be a little intimidating when they all show up in person).
I figured that with TequilaCon underway it was time to start offering to give people tattoos, and Christine one-upped me by flashing her real tattoo, but ultimately I gave one to both her and Jan. People started arriving in droves about then, and I suddenly realized that any hopes I’d had of being felt up by Karl were probably going to go unrealized because he already had people lined up for just that. My spirits were lifted, though, when I ran into my favorite cupcake and when I asked her if she was ready for a tattoo, she showed me exactly where I could give it to her, and she decided to pay it forward by giving Becky one in the same place. I picked up a cool piece of swag from Avitable, and later he told me that if it didn’t work out for me I could name my first child Adam.
People were arriving faster than I could greet them at this point, and it looked like pandemonium, and I asked around to see if anyone knew who was responsible for all this. Dustin told me he knew exactly who, so I tapped on my glass as he stood up on a chair and told everyone that Jenny was the reason we were all here. I think this really struck a chord with Dave, because then he pulled Jenny aside and told her to take a look at what she’d done, but she only kicked up her feet in defiance. I didn’t think she was taking taking this too seriously, so I stole one of her curls and then challenged her to game of pinball. This didn’t work out so well, because it turns out she’s pretty good at pinball when she doesn’t have a scarf over her eyes, and I suffered an epic defeat, and the worst part was when she racked up the last ten million points with one hand while she chatted with Shari. (Asia, if you’re not worried yet, you should be.) I figured I couldn’t do much worse so I tried my hand at Ms Pac-Man, but Dee-Dee demonstrated how lacking my skills were in that department, and then after all this abuse I think Sir must have taken pity on me because he told me I could go ahead and call him whatever I wanted, and then Farnsworth became my new best friend by buying me a vodka.
I think this is the part where The Collective arrived (minus one, but three out of four is still pretty good), and they brought their A-game and their exclamation marks, and I probably went a little fanboy on them, especially when they wanted to start doing shots right away. Kat! was every bit as bad-assed as I thought she’d be, because I didn’t see anyone else get a hat-trick at Buck Hunter that night, Jennie! showed me the secret to playing MASH so that you always wound up with Jake Gyllenhaal (and then I let her down right away by not remembering who did that space cowboy song), and Abigail! let the DJ know that he was working for us, and not the other way around.
Things start to get blurry about this point, but I do remember that I finally found out what a Delmer looks like, and I shared a few words with Dawg while he watched over us, and I’d heard Shiny’s voice before but this was the first chance I’d had to shake his hand, and Dan, I may just have to drive down to this Chucklehut of yours because I didn’t get nearly as much time in to talk to you as I did last year. I probably got a little sentimental on Shelli when she asked for one of my buttons, and although I never actually heard Britt say ‘woo hoo! fuck yeah!’ her dance moves spoke volumes more. Avitable called me over then because Poppy needed a tattoo, and she probably had the sweetest smile of the night and she told me she loved her mermaid, but she was probably just being kind because the room was spinning so fast at that point I’m sure I must have put it on crooked.
This is about the point where the living embodiment of tequila appeared in a flash of light, and called for someone to bring him the head of Brandon, and it was all pretty scary so Sandra showed us all that it was probably best to bow to Tequila Man’s wishes. Sarah got a hold of Brandon’s head, and she took him to places I can’t talk about here, and come to think of it Heather probably got a little fresh with him, too, and it was all getting a little crazy so I ducked away for a minute to exchange text messages with my partner in crime, and I’m sure I told her that I wished she was here because I really did.
Things started to wrap up after we had the last call for fake mustaches, and there were hugs aplenty and hand shakes as people started to leave, and I don’t remember much about this part of the evening but I know that Jill was the last to leave, and then we were left with one last Tequila Duty to perform so the four of us visited the photo booth, and then we were well and truly done for the night.
Good old North Bowl. You had no idea, did you? But I think we all left you better than when we found you.
I knew one thing I was going to miss about TequilaCon this year would be the recaps that Brandon used to churn out (last year’s is here, and the ‘06 one has gone missing but it’s out there somewhere because nothing ever really disappears from the internet). I tried to craft this one along the lines of the posts he’d write, and although I’d like to think I’ve learned a thing or two about writing from him any recap that he would make would easily be, like, three times better than this. Maybe four times better. Anyway, I made this up as an homage to a good friend that couldn’t be there. We missed you, you bastard.
Also, I’m almost sure I forgot to write about somebody in here, because I stopped remembering the names of people I introduced myself to after about 9:30, and I know I didn’t get around to meeting everyone. So, I apologize. And anyway, now I’m late for work. Cheers!
i should have presented my credentials from the start. my bad.
That was the nicest recap! You remember like EVERYTHING. Why can’t I do that? My recap would be, met so and so and laughed and laughed and laughed. That’s all I did all night, well, besides the drinking.
Here’s what I learned AFTER TequilaCon 08:
I am clearly the least social person on the Internet. Good GOD you people met a lot of bloggers.
That was an excellent recap, although you didn’t discuss me enough. There’s never enough Avitable.
Things I learned: 1) Never play pinball with Asia, Jenny, or Vahid; 2) Never, EVER, play BuckHunter with Kat!; and 3) Never, ever, EVER miss another TequilaCon.
Great recap and thanks for that tattoo…my boobs will never be the same ;).
I hope you can make it out to go to SDCC with all of us!
my friend, that was a most excellent recap. that was just as good as being there.
I think Abigail brought more than her A game, since she was chasing shots with OTHER SHOTS.
Outstanding recap. And the offer still stands…call me whatever the hell you want. Except Steve. I hate that name.
I had such a great time meeting you. Thanks for the tattoo!
Outstanding - well worth waiting for! You really do have an amazing memory. You and Dustin must always be the TequilaCon ambassadors from now on - you did such a good job of making everyone feel welcome.
Bravo, my friend. Bravo!
Vahid,
I’m awed by you. You rock and this little recap was awesome. I did indeed ask you for a button and you also tattooed my left breast because, isn’t that what one does when one first meets someone? Tattoos their breast.
I am hoping to get to know you better still. I’ll be hanging around your blog to do that. Get used to me.
great to meet you, vahid! feel free to tattoo me next year…your choice of tattoo placement (so long as hilly doesn’t beat you there!)
OMG! Reading this was just like being there!
Oh… wait a second…
kat!, I’ll meet you halfway. How’s your air-hockey skills these days?
Black Belt Mama, like most super powers, being able to remember all my drinking adventures is both a blessing and a curse.
Miss Britt, someone had to be on the front lines to meet people, and besides, your dance moves trump my socializing any day of the week.
Avitable, I know, I was trying to figure out a way to work you in there a few more times.
shari, I have it in writing now: you WILL be at the next one!
Hilly, I’m glad to know I really touched you.
brandon, I did my best, I still think it reads like a first draft. Which, technically, it is.
Jennie!, I know, those were some epic drinking skills!
Sir, Steve does sound sort of dick-ish, doesn’t it?
Jan, great meeting you! Thanks for being such a good tattoo subject!
jenny, between our curls and dimples one-two combo, we’re an unbeatable duo.
Shelli, my blog self is cooler than my real life self, because it doesn’t slouch.
hhn, I wouldn’t want to have to fight Hilly for you.
Dave2, I know, totally! Except for the part where we woke up the next morning and couldn’t function. I can do without that again.
A most excellent recap, sir. Well worth waiting for.
Thanks!
I was not just being kind, I did love my mermaid!
But by morning I didn’t appreciate the placement of the mermaid. If I get a real tattoo it will be someplace more feminine.
oh man, i haven’t played in years. guess this means i’d better practice up.
Poppy, next year we’re ONLY doing belly tattoos and tramp stamps.
kat!, the gauntlet has been thrown down. (Note to self: brush up on air hockey before meeting kat! again.)