I don’t have any kids, but I know a lot of people who do, and one thing kids seem to have in common is that they seem to need a lot of stuff. If it isn’t a “hot meal” this, it’s “shoes” that or a “new coat” or for the really needy ones, one of those “iPod” whatsits that everyone seems to have one of these days.
But what with kids constantly screaming at you about what they need, and experts constantly telling you that they probably need something else entirely, how do you know what it is the kids really need? What if it’s something else entirely? I mean, yeah, having parents around and maybe some bacon now and then is probably important, but what about beans?
And experts can all agree that the arts shouldn’t be neglected. Singing along to 80′s music is a good place to start.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It turns out there’s all kinds of things that kids need that I’ll bet you never even knew about.
I don’t know about you, but I’ll be keeping all this in mind when I visit the polls next month. I can only hope that the candidates will address the distressing lack of rabbit pies in our schools in the next debate.
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October 6th, 2008 on 6:12 am
“Kids Need Sober Parents”…pffffft. Dude and I are drunk morning, noon and night and our kids are straight A students so that bumper sticker is totally bogus.
And I have a Rabbit Pie in the oven….
October 6th, 2008 on 7:20 am
I’m laughing too hard to make any kind of salient comment. Dude, honestly, you rule.
October 6th, 2008 on 7:34 am
I was hanging out with a bunny rabbit yesterday (true story, my sister is pet sitting) so all I can think of is its rabbit pellet poos in a pie.
EWWW.
Those kinds of bumper stickers are just one reason I <3 Portland.
October 6th, 2008 on 7:52 am
Hahaha, it looks like whomever gets to stick whatever letters on under the “kids need” part. Is that true? If not, I’d like to campaign for a “Rad Tent” as well since I am a kid at heart!
October 6th, 2008 on 8:30 am
I’ll tell you what kids need…..oh wait, I can’t say that sort of thing on the WWW.
October 6th, 2008 on 10:00 am
Oh, I’m so glad someone finally has the courage to speak out about the shameful lack of rabbit pies and karaoke in the lives of everyday ordinary “Joe Sixpack” kids in this country. Shameful. And what about being able to see Russia? Don’t kids need that too? I fear for the next generation.
October 6th, 2008 on 1:01 pm
Lisa, in that case I’m stopping by for dinner and bringing a bottle of vodka with me.
Winter, I’m just doing my part to raise people’s awareness.
Sizzle, ewwww, nobody likes poo pie!
Hilly, these are all real campaigns! I bet you didn’t even know kids needed rad tents before you saw this sticker!
Lewis, this is America, you can still say anything you want. for a while.
Shari, see? who knew kids needed to see Russia before you brought it up? more bumper stickers!
October 6th, 2008 on 1:01 pm
Oh a rad tent! I need one of those. And I am not even a kid.
And also, according to those stickers, I am depriving my kids of a lot of things they need. Someone should probably turn me in.
October 6th, 2008 on 1:03 pm
well, now you know. and knowing is half the battle.
October 6th, 2008 on 1:27 pm
sober parents would have been rad when i was growing up!
October 7th, 2008 on 5:11 pm
This proves my theory that kids are nothing more than poop factories that end up turning into selfish little ingrates that demand more more more of both one’s sanity and red hot beans. That’s such bullshit.