Real life Portlandia is far more entertaining than Portlandia the show.

— Vahid (@Iron_Fist) June 15, 2013

Okay, so, I haven’t actually watched very much of the show Portlandia. I realize it’s popular for some reason, but I honestly felt they ran out of material by the second or third episode. Maybe it’s gotten better since then? I don’t know. All I know is I don’t have to walk very far in the morning to see some truly bizarre, entertaining sights that I haven’t seen on any sketch TV show.

Here’s the deal: Sarah got an email from some list she was on with a link to some free passes for an early screening of the new Star Trek movie. We’ve done one of these before, when we saw Jack Reacher this past winter. It works on a “first come, first serve” basis, so if you want to get in to see a blockbuster new movie AT ABSOLUTELY NO COST TO YOU, it makes sense that you have to show up a little early and wait in line.

I get this. It’s a trade off. If I didn’t want to stand in line with a bunch of assholes, I could have just waited and shelled out the money for a ticket, even reserved tickets on Fandango so I could just show up, print them out and waltz in. I wanted to see it for free, though, so I walked in a little after six for the nine o’clock screening, knowing this would mean I would have to stand around for two and a half hours before they started letting people into the theater. A trade-off, right?

Well, I walked in and find unoccupied lawn chairs sitting around, jackets thrown on empty patches of floor. A whole lot of attitude about “I’m saving this spot for a friend!” The management came up at one point and asked couple about the large empty space around then. “Well, we have nine friends coming.” The nice lady from the theatre management pointed out the sign that said only one person could wait in line per free pass so there was no holding spots. “They were here, but they left to get food.” I should mention that those spots had been unoccupied for the half hour that I had been waiting by this point. Anyway, the lady from management then informed them this was just too bad, and let everyone else in line behind them know it was cool to go ahead and move forward now, and though this seemed PERFECTLY REASONABLE to me, the couple flashed one another that look. You know the one. The look when someone farts at a formal dinner, or loses their temper when they need to repeat to the person making their burrito at Chipotle that they want absolutely no spiciness on their food. The one that says, “boy, are we embarrassed for how you’re acting right now.”

I just don’t get it. You think you’d be stoked about the chance to see an awesome movie before the general release FOR FREE and not act like it was your God-given right instead of a really cool opportunity that might mean you need to stand around for a little bit first.

Anyway. It’s 7:45 now. I figure I have another forty five minutes until they start letting people in. There were probably twenty people ahead of me when we got here. There might be fifty now. People keep squeezing in, although they have to squeeze a lot tighter now since I steadfastly refuse to step back, and my scowl is working pretty well to discourage anyone from asking me to do so. Perhaps if I’m lucky they’ll start piling on top of one another and reach some sort of critical mass that prompts a savage switch to cannibalism and I won’t have to perform any homicides myself.

Keep an eye out for me on the news tonight, just in case.

I found this little guy hanging out by the river early one particularly cold morning.  Although it’s not terribly uncommon to see the occasional seagull in Portland, keep in mind that there’s 80 or so miles and a whole mountain range between us and the nearest ocean.  If the storms along the coast get pretty bad, though, a few will wander inland, fighting with pigeons for food scraps and trash.

He wasn’t too certain about me, inching closer to him with one arm outstretched.  When he thought I was close enough he gave me a little glare, so I snapped my photo, and he flapped his wings and flew off, his business with me done.

Unfortunately I had this idea late on Friday and proceeded to be rather busy on Saturday, so this first Friday Flickr is happening on a Sunday (I know, right? I guess I should probably get that New Year’s Eve recap post up soon too).

To start with, this photo that I took in the command center of my newly constructed secret underground headquarters.

Kidding!  Saturday was a free day at OMSI, and we went so that we could bathe ourselves in SCIENCE! for an afternoon.  They had this nifty “Science on a Sphere” display, which cycled through a number of cool presentations about the planets.  I also took this very cool one of Mars:

….and that’s what I got for today.  Please be sure to join me next week when I will probably miss my self-imposed Friday deadline again.

I did the whole dragon boat racing thing about two years ago, even competed once or twice, and so thought it would be nice if we could wander down to the waterfront this past weekend and catch a few of the races.  Apparently since my time they’ve added a new position to help judge those close finishes: a crew member whose job is to lay flat on top of the dragon’s head, arm outstretched, and pluck their flag from the finish line as the boat crosses it.

A few weekends back we got up extra early on Saturday and went down to the waterfront to check out the Portland Doggie Dash, an organized run for dogs and their owners.

A few of my photos turned out to be worth sharing.  Suspiciously they all seem to be of corgis.  Hmmm…

As you were.

Anyone else ready for it to go ahead and be spring already?

I liked the comment that Kerri Anne left for this photo on the Flickr that I had to post it here with that title.  I suppose there is something sort of bleak and zombie-like about it.  Of course, now I’m thinking about a zombie outbreak in Portland and wondering — would a vegan who became a zombie stay a vegan?  I can’t help but picture a freshly undead local stumbling down the street, arms outstretched, moaning, “BRRRRROCOLLIIIII!”

(The above joke may be funnier if you live here.)

If you like the effect in this photo I got it with the Spica app; there’s an associated group on Flickr.

I went to the Greek Festival here in Portland last weekend, at which I consumed (among other things) a great deal of loukoumades.

Really, they’re just doughnut holes. With some honey, and a sprinkling of cinnamon. But when you say their Greek name they just sound a lot more elegant.

I have just been in more of a pictures mood than anything lately, but maybe I should write something.  Tomorrow sounds good.

While it seems like this past month has been comprised entirely of hellish amounts of work-related stress, truth is I have found quite a bit of time to get out and goof off.  It seems like summers pass me by while I stay cooped up indoors, chained to one desk or another, so this time around I’ve been doing what I can to get out of the house every chance I get, soak up some sun, bask in the perfect weather of the Pacific Northwest.

Naturally, something had to give, with “something” being this blog as of late.  I’ve been out drinking cold adult beverages with my friends, taking in the occasional baseball game or rock show as time allows.  I did find time to hang out with Kerri Anne and Long Story Longer at the Portland Farmer’s Market the other morning, where we ate fresh berries and did our best to avoid all stalkers.

And on Sunday, I even made it out to the beach, where we found clear blue skies, bright sun, and absolutely no waves to speak of.  At least the scenery was pretty, though I would have preferred being able to surf.

Yeah, I know I check in like this now and then to get out of writing anything new on my blog, but you know what?  I think I’ll write another post, purely out of spite.  SPITE, I tell you.  Okay, I was just kidding about the spite — the heat is making me a little crazy.  Eh.