shitty bars that I will never go to again
Today we’re going to talk about the Thirsty Lion in downtown Portland, and why it’s a shitty bar and why I’ll never go there again.
I’ve been going out for “guy’s night” happy hour every Friday pretty regularly for some time now, and I try to scout out new locations with half-way decent happy hours for us to go. So I came across the Thirsty Lion, an “Olde Englishe Pubb” styled place built into the old Bar 71 location. They had a decent looking menu posted in the window (I admit I was intrigued by the weird culture-boundary crossing “Corned Beef Tacos”) so we decided to check it out. It turned out to be okay, and we shed no tears about $3 pints of Guiness, but we were vaguely weirded out by the way the waitress kept touching us, especially when she put her hand on my thigh. I know some people are all about having hands near their respective crotches, but for me, having a stranger put her hand that close to my junk was a little unnerving.
I decided to give them a second chance this last Saturday, when Beemer Todd was in town from San Diego and itching for a drink. I arrived to find him seated and working on his first beer, so I grabbed a seat at his table and we started catching up. Fifteen minutes later, exactly zero waiters had come by to see if I needed a drink. “This is bullshit,” I announced, using my ‘This is bullshit’ voice that I save up for announcing that things are currently at a bullshit-status. “How long did you have to sit here before they came to bring you a drink?”
“Dude, I had to go get mine at the bar.”
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