Iron Fist

I told myself this was the year I was going to be up on my game.  I wasn’t using Outlook as my calendar anymore, where I had the wrong date loaded in as a reminder and so comically wished her a ‘happy birthday’ one day late for, like, four consecutive years.  Of course, I haven’t consistently been using a new calendar app since then, so I told myself I’d just remember.

“This year,” I said. “This is the year that I’m totally on time.”  After all, we’ve known each other for such a ridiculous length of time that you’d think a simple thing like a midsummer’s birthday would be something I couldn’t get wrong.  Consistently.

Then I had a real ass-kicker of the last half of this week at work, so much so that I don’t think I’ve turned my computer on since Wednesday, other than to burn some DVDs.  I woke up around 6:30 this morning, having collapsed into a restless sleep around 8 o’clock last night, and said to myself, “Made it! Made it through the week.  Saturday. No work today! Sweet. Now, what do I have to do today?” I summoned a mental list of the things I wanted to accomplish today, July 28th, and…

“Oh…crap. I did it again.”

All that being said by way of excuse, here I go, late again: Happy Birthday, Anna.  Hope you have fun on your annual solo road trip.  And if you want to drive all the way up here to Portland, I sure won’t complain.

(Everyone else: stay tuned. Blog posts coming soon.)

Comments(1)

Our Sunday morning surfing venture was foiled by inclement weather. The rain didn’t bother us so much as the hideously choppy surf. We weighed the balance of having the whole place to ourselves (a rare event at Oswald West) versus getting the crap kicked out of us by ocean.

Oh well. There will be other Sundays.

By the time we got back to Portland the cloud cover had burned off, giving us clear day one of three.  At least we’ll get a little more summer in July.

Comments(7)

Dear co-workers,

Please just shut up. I don’t need this today.

Normally I am distantly amused by your griping about things that matter not a whit in the larger scheme of things, and your pettiness, and in your case, C., your incredibly stunted emotional maturity level, but today just take it somewhere else.

“Did you take care of this request for me?”

Did you follow the protocol like you’re supposed to?

“What? Can’t you just set it up?”

If you haven’t gotten the authorization you need then the answer is no. We went through this all last time so I know this is nothing new to you.

“I don’t want to have to call you at home tomorrow if this isn’t set up right.”

Well. It turns out I don’t want you to call me at home, either. So kindly follow the fucking steps we’re required to go through in the future instead of dumping this on me at the last minute.

Yes, K., go home. That’s fine. You would just end up making needless work for me if you stayed by asking me questions that have nothing to do with what we’re working on. No, C., I’m not going to go to lunch and gossip with you, I’m not in the mood for your childishness today. Make that sulky pouting face if you want, it might make your boyfriend knuckle under but you should have figured out by now it has no effect on me. For fuck’s sake, D., I don’t know how much more explicit I can make this email so you can understand what I’m trying to ask you.

Of all the days to have an issue with connecting to the remote site, today this is not what I needed. We need better equipment, I swear these Win-boxes were thrown together by monkeys.

Would it have killed me to have swallowed my goddamn pride and said goodbye to her last night before I left? Asshole.

“Is this all set up and ready to go now?”

It’s as set up as it’s going to get considering you didn’t want to make the arrangements you were supposed to make.

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore, some days.

I am going to glare at this monitor until the tube explodes or it turns into a starfish.

Comments(5)

Attention: Californians. Visited Oregon lately? Thought, “Oh, how lovely!” Well, here’s our summer for you:

When I woke up this morning I initially thought that I had overslept for work by four months and was looking out my window at October. Then I remembered that summers west of the Cascades sometimes include pouring down torrential summer rains. At least it was warm out so I could close my eyes and pretend it was tropical summer rain in Puerto Vallarta, although this illusion disappeared quickly when I looked around and saw that I was actually waiting to catch the train with a bunch of hippies.

The clouds hung around for most of the day, clearing up as the day drew to a close, which worked out fine for me since I enjoy watching the colors of the sunset playing across the clouds.

All I gotta say is, if this summer has any more raining to do then it had better get it out of its system tonight and tomorrow morning, because I want the sun to come out and dry things out for the weekend. And not just for me, although obviously I’d enjoy a sunny Saturday — I happen to know someone who is having an outdoor wedding this Saturday, and she deserves a clear blue sky and a plenty of blooming sunflowers.

Comments(7)

That, or else I’m going to kill him. Let me tell you about the guy in the unit next to me. Three times in the last week I’ve been awakened after midnight by his fire alarm going off. The first time was probably the scariest because after I listened to the alarm going off for almost thirty seconds I heard the distinctive THUMP of him jumping out of bed. I can only assume this meant that he put something on the stove to cook and then decided that a quick cat nap was in order. What I want to know is, what is he cooking up at 12:30 AM? I can understand keeping weird hours, I keep some weird ones myself, but this is a pretty disturbing trend of setting things on fire in his kitchen in the middle of the night. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until he burns the whole complex down.

Another thing: in my apartment building, the halls and common areas have AC but the individual units do not. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together (so, three people on my floor) has figured out that if you close your window and open your door on unbearably hot days the air in your room gets circulated out into the hall and the oven like temperatures in your room get down to the point where it’s possible to get to sleep at night. This would also probably be a good time for me to get out and meet some of the people on my floor if not for the fact that I am scared of them because I am pretty sure they are all crackheads. I’m walking back from taking out my garbage when I see that my neighbor has opened his door, too. At first I charitably think, “Hey, maybe he isn’t such a complete moron,” but then I realized that the reason he opened his door is because he burned his dinner yet again, and instead of doing the honorable thing and throwing himself out the window in shame, he was ventilating his room by letting the smoke get sucked out into the common area. That, and the smell of whatever else it is that he keeps in his room, which I am guessing must be some as-yet-undiscovered-by-Western-science specimen of swamp orangutan.

I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I’ve gotta get out of this place.

Comments(4)