Iron Fist

Dial-up internet speeds are for shit.  I can’t believe I subsisted on this level of bandwidth for so long.  Granted, that’s all that’s available out here in the hinterlands at my mom’s house, but still.

Oh yeah, everyone enjoy your turkey today.

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Is it just me, or does anyone else find it completely disgusting that OJ Simpson is going to publish a book about how he killed his wife? And that he’s going to get away with it since 1) he’s talking about it as a “hypothetical situation”, and 2) double-jeopardy laws prevent him from being tried for her murder a second time.

America, please: don’t buy this book.

Update: common sense prevailed somewhere down the line and both the book and show have been canceled. Now we get to watch black market copies of the book crop up on eBay, since I’m sure that not every single pre-release copy will be accounted for and destroyed, now that all the hype has made this a sick collector’s item.

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Okay kids, it’s that time of the month again: the time when I get pissed off and unleash my Iron Fisted irritation on whoever has irked my ire in the past thirty days. This month is a themed “Fuck You” list, which shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out.

• Master Sonny and his Canadian Martial Arts School: I can’t tell you how much you pissed me off by taking ironfist.com and then sitting on it. Yeah, your site looks pretty, until you realize that all the pages either have “lorem ipsum” or “Your text goes here” written all over it. Thanks for nothing, and fuck you.
• Zolo Design Studio: Your site is under construction? No shit your site is under fucking construction. In the meantime, while you continue to do jack shit with it, you’re sitting on a prime domain name I could be using. So fuck you too.
• IronFist Internet Design and Development: While that opening graphic with the spaceships looks pretty sweet, the truth is you dickholes can get fucked for all I care, because as far as I can tell you have done zero else with your site. I hope you’re getting overcharged for the hosting of your shitty site. And before I forget: fuck you.
• Maxfield from Oakland: I don’t really know who you are or what the fuck you think you’re doing, but I’m adding you to this list because even though ironfist.org wasn’t high on my list of choices for a place to park my site, the fact that you have been sitting on that domain for the last four years and are doing literally nothing with it right now has irked me to the point where it’d be a crime for me to not include you on the Fuck You List for this month.

Okay, that’s what I got. I can’t tell you how frustrating it’s been to have made the decision get my site professionally hosted and then discover that all the domain names I might have taken are being sat on by wankers who are doing shit with them. That, and there were some technical difficulties. Also, I’m sort of a slacker.

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I got up this morning to check my email, because I’m an addict and can’t not check my email in the morning. My computer tried to tell me that my network cable was unplugged. “Goddamn it, no it isn’t!” I raged after checking my connection.

I rebooted, because 90% of Windoze problems are solved by rebooting the damn thing. Still no dice. Then I got a bright idea and dug up my Comcast bill. I could have sworn I’d had service for less than a month, but apparently I’m already overdue. Fuck.

Anyway, I’ll get to the bottom of this. Right now I’m using a Personal Telco node at the Natural Capital Center to crank out this post. What I’m saying is that this is going to be my excuse if my site doesn’t get updated this week, not because I’m completely lazy.

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I rolled into work a few minutes late this morning (actually, I’ve been a few minutes late every day this week — I’m working on it, okay?) and as I went to tuck in my shirt I realized that I’d forgotten my belt. Well, fuck it, it’s casual Friday, right? I was already wearing jeans and some loafers, so I decided I was going to go ahead and walk around all day with my shirt hanging out.

Then, I decided I didn’t feel like wearing shoes, either. So I kicked those off underneath my desk. What’s the deal with having to wear shoes at work, anyway? Who decided that was a requirement? I’m clearly more comfortable without them.

I settled back into my horribly un-ergonomic office chair with my cup of coffee, and since I was reading Slashdot anyway, I put my shoeless feet up on top of the computer underneath my desk. That thing is nearly worthless anyway, so it works better as a footrest than at doing the mediocre job it’s supposed to do.

Casual fucking Friday. I like it. Maybe next week I just won’t wear pants, either.

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