Iron Fist

From: me
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:12 AM
To: [co-worker]
Subject: sniff

[Moving company] dude == bad smell in my office.

Every time.
________________________________
From: [co-worker]
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:13 AM
To: me
Subject: RE: sniff

smoke, BO or both?
________________________________
From: me
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:37 AM
To: [co-worker]
Subject: RE: sniff

At the end of the day it’s smoke, as if instead of working here all day he used the passcard I just gave him to somehow magically transport his self to the Virginia Cafe downtown, which is the smokiest establishment I have ever walked into, and spent his entire shift (plus breaks) rolling around on the carpet and the walls, and even some time rolling around on the ceiling Mary Poppins-style, all whilst smoking a cigarette. After all that time spent soaking up old tar and rancid tobacco smoke, he reappears in my office around quitting time and radiates it all at once, as if the carcinogenic molecules of smoke on his clothes were all spraying out to fill the smoke-free vacuum that is my office.

But at the beginning of the day? I don’t know what that smell is. Sort of a livestock/breath mint/dishwashing soap smell, if such a thing is possible, with a bit of river water thrown in. It’s as if he was leaving for work in the morning and noticed a mare in heat that had escaped from her corral and so he decided to wrestle her back into her pen, getting covered with animal musk and thrown into a stream choked with algae and cat-tails before succeeding in coercing the escaped horse back into confinement. Then, noticing that he was now suffused with a bizarre combination of nature smells, he decided that an Altoid and a dash of Cascade behind each ear were enough to bring his pH balance back to normal and waltzed off to work.

Sounds pretty adventurous, actually.

________________________________
From: [co-worker]
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2006 9:47 AM
To: me
Subject: RE: sniff

do you really have no work to do?