Iron Fist

Dear co-workers,

Please just shut up. I don’t need this today.

Normally I am distantly amused by your griping about things that matter not a whit in the larger scheme of things, and your pettiness, and in your case, C., your incredibly stunted emotional maturity level, but today just take it somewhere else.

“Did you take care of this request for me?”

Did you follow the protocol like you’re supposed to?

“What? Can’t you just set it up?”

If you haven’t gotten the authorization you need then the answer is no. We went through this all last time so I know this is nothing new to you.

“I don’t want to have to call you at home tomorrow if this isn’t set up right.”

Well. It turns out I don’t want you to call me at home, either. So kindly follow the fucking steps we’re required to go through in the future instead of dumping this on me at the last minute.

Yes, K., go home. That’s fine. You would just end up making needless work for me if you stayed by asking me questions that have nothing to do with what we’re working on. No, C., I’m not going to go to lunch and gossip with you, I’m not in the mood for your childishness today. Make that sulky pouting face if you want, it might make your boyfriend knuckle under but you should have figured out by now it has no effect on me. For fuck’s sake, D., I don’t know how much more explicit I can make this email so you can understand what I’m trying to ask you.

Of all the days to have an issue with connecting to the remote site, today this is not what I needed. We need better equipment, I swear these Win-boxes were thrown together by monkeys.

Would it have killed me to have swallowed my goddamn pride and said goodbye to her last night before I left? Asshole.

“Is this all set up and ready to go now?”

It’s as set up as it’s going to get considering you didn’t want to make the arrangements you were supposed to make.

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore, some days.

I am going to glare at this monitor until the tube explodes or it turns into a starfish.